Jealousy

One of the hard emotions Goalie Boy had to deal with this week is jealousy.  He is having a hard time with it at home.
This week was Little Bee's 7th birthday.  I talked to him about it before hand and reminded him that he would have his own special day at the end of next month.  He has been battling jealous/envy off and on.  Sometimes everything is fine, no issues.  Other times it's overwhelming and unbearable.  He told me he understood and seemed excited to help her celebrate.  He even filled out a special card for her.
Too bad it didn't last.  He didn't quite seem to grasp the concept even though we reminded him several times that it was her birthday and her presents.  We even got him a little present that he enjoyed playing with.
When she opened her first present he wanted to help.  She wanted to do it herself.  What 7 year old wouldn't?  When she unwrapped the jewelry kit full of beads he wanted to open up the packaging and start making things with it.  We had to tell him to stop.  The next present was a messenger bad that she could color.  He wanted to color it with her.  Again, we had to remind him that it was hers and she didn't need or want any help.  I felt bad for him.  He doesn't necessarily need to be the center of attention but he doesn't want anyone else to be it either.  We tried to refocus and redirect him. We were very patient. 
He got upset when Little Bee said she wanted spaghetti for her Birthday dinner.  He doesn't like spaghetti.  I understand that but it's her birthday dinner and she loves it.  She didn't pick it to be spiteful.  He whined and cried the whole time I was making and serving it.  I told him he had to eat some of it.  I would've make him a sandwich afterwards if necessary.  He ended up eating it and even said he liked the way I made it that time.  Go figure. 
We didn't let his overall belligerent attitude ruin the night.  It wasn't fair to Little Bee.  After dinner, she got her "surprise" gift.  A walking puppy.  He was all over that.  He was so upset that he didn't get one.  We couldn't get him to comprehend that it was her special day and he had one of his very own coming up really soon.  While we were helping Little Bee get her doggy out of the box he huffed into the living room in a pout.  When we were done he came back in and threw himself into a chair at the kitchen table.  My husband was done with having to deal with the mood swings.  Goalie Boy was upset and mad because we got the toy out of the box and not him.  He was angry because Little Bee didn't let him help.  He often forgets that we are the parents and he is the child.  My husband sent him up to his room.  We were at the breaking point and his attitude took the shine of the day for Little Bee.
We made him stay up there for 15 minutes while we went outside with Little Bee and her doggy.  He said he was sorry and within minutes they were playing great together.  I ache for his mood swings.  I wish I knew how to help him.  We try to remind him of expectations and keep the rules strict so he knows the line. Even while I'm getting upset and frustrated, my heart breaks for him.  I wish he could see what we see, maybe then he could understand.
This weeks been full of these emotional battles but to a lesser degree.  I know some of it is due to the school year slowly coming to a close and the heat.  We'll keep working on it. 
One day at a time