I was sitting at home working with my daughter on her homework before dinner when I got one of those dreaded "middle of the night" type calls. You know the one that instantaneously something is wrong.
Monday's for us are hectic now that school's begun. My daughter has girl scouts right after school and my son has hockey practice at 6:40 (an hour's drive from us). Plus, to top it off I started my first day of work.
Normally, we get my daughter from girl scouts, eat a quick dinner before dropping her off at my parents and heading to the rink. Also, we typically carpool on Monday's with a friend.
This week because I was so tired after my first day of work I decided to stay home to relax, spend time with my daughter and plan things out for the week ahead. My husband decided he was just going to take Goalieboy by himself and skip carpooling. Everything seemed fine, everything went smoothly.
Fifteen, twenty minutes after they left the house my husband called. The car was in a ditch less than 10 minutes from our house. The first thing he told me is, "We're ok but we've been in an accident." I'm grateful that my husband knows me well enough to have started the call with "We're Ok.". I've had too many scary calls from him saying he's been in some kind of accident not prefaced by those words. My mind doesn't compute after "We've been in an accident". Best to tell me the good news up front first.
I just want to let people know a few things. First, slow down! Second, if you miss a turn you can back track. Third, better to be late than dead.
What happened you ask? The driver 2 cars in front of my husband slammed on his breaks to make a last second left hand turn. The road is marked at 55 mph. It's a busy road especially during commute hours. Why there's not a light at this particular spot I'll never know. The road going left is where a few major industries are (warehouses and such) and the town hall. It really needs to be regulated better.
The driver in front of my hubby had to slam on his breaks to avoid the idiot. My husband had to slam on his and swerve to the right. Right into the ditch. Thank goodness the ditch wasn't deep. He swore he felt the car rock and thought it was going to flip. That part had my heart stopping.
The driver of the car in front of him stopped to check if he was ok. He also gave him his business card as a witness. The driver who caused the accident never stopped, never looked back.
I'm so thankful my husband and son are ok. It reaffirms to them....no speeding, no following too closely, no texting, sitting properly (my son) and no distractions. None of these things were occurring at the time of the accident. It could have been so much worse if just one of these things had been going on. I'm thanking my lucky stars.
A few side notes:
To the towing company: Thank you for responding so promptly and getting the car out of the ditch.
To the officer who came along: While we are grateful you stopped to check and hang out until the car was pulled out, we don't appreciate you commenting several times about my husband's sniffling and runny nose. It's allergy season and he is highly allergic to everything around us all year long. Next time, just demand a drug test or shut up. You made yourself look like an ass. Also, why didn't you take the contact information for our witness? That's mind boggling.
To the insurance company: You're seriously going to tell us if there's over $2000 worth of damage our rates our going to go up? We didn't cause the accident. This is beyond ridiculous and we'll be starting to shop for a better carrier.
However, thinking positively and looking on the bright side, I am thankful no one was physically hurt. Things can change tragically in the blink of an eye. I'm so glad my life and the lives of those I love dearly are unscathed.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Here's to a Good Year
The school year has started here with a few minor speed bumps. Just a week and a half before school started Irene hit. Lots of flooding throughout the area. The rain would clear up for a day or two just to come back with a vengeance. School started the way it had ended in June...on a humid, dreary day. A bit disappointing but we met it straight on with positive determination. Two days later, schools around the area were closed due to flooding. It seems Mother Nature has had her panties in a bit of a twist. The weather will be cool one moment, hot and humid the next, followed by rain. Sigh. I just want fall to be cool and crisp without the heat and humidity. We've gotten a tease of it but it's left me begging for more.
Weather news aside, the school year has gone really well so far. I'm almost afraid I'm going to jinx it by feeling so positive. Goalieboy has been right in sync with things with little or no complaint. That's a major accomplishment here. He's very opinionated and full of boy drama. So far, most of it hasn't been over the top.
I thought we would have some issues with him wearing his new (purple!) hearing aids to school but amazingly that has been a non issue. He seems more comfortable and confident with them. I think the timing was right getting them right after school was over in June. He was always self conscience of his old one (he only had a single loaner one for three months). I think he's really embraced them. They are really helping him in so many ways. I'm amazed that I rarely have to remind him in the mornings to put them on. The only issues we seem to have is the tug of war after he's taken them off because he's been playing outside. At that point, I think he's just done with them for the day. I think what works best for us is just keeping a routine then he knows what's expected.
School is going (dare I say) great so far. He likes most of his classmates and his teachers. He's in a co-teaching model classroom. Before this year it was called a collaborative class. For those unfamiliar with this (these didn't exist when I was in school) concept: It's a classroom with two teachers. One is regular ed(ucation) and the other is special ed. The class they teach is a mix of regular kids and kids with IEP (Individual Education Plans). Most of the IEP children have always been in the general ed setting while a few are graduated into it from the special education classroom. It's great in theory and potentially fantastic with the right mix of teachers and kids.
Third grade is the first grade it is offered to children in our school if there are enough students (and teachers) to make up a class. It didn't go that well for us last year. The class was big (26 students) and chaotic. The teachers didn't teach as well together as I had heard they had done in years past. Nothing seemed to mesh and it was frustrating for everyone. It just didn't work and Goalieboy suffered from it.
This year seems to be a different case. As I observed the two teachers during last weeks open house I was very impressed. They appear to work well together and have good chemistry.
I'm excited to say, Goalieboy seems engaged in class. I can ask him several hours after pickup about his day and he can give me clear details. Last year, it was mainly the dreaded, "I don't remember." response. Last night, during dinner, he regaled me about what he was learning in social studies. He was giving me names of states, oceans and lakes. His teachers are reaching him! What a wonderful thing. I'm so excited!
His teachers seem to really care about their students. Today I emailed them after school (which I've never done before) because Goalieboy had a meltdown over a math worksheet. He knew how to do the work and didn't get why he needed to show it a certain way. I put out the fire the best I could by telling him to do it his way and I would ask the teachers about it. One of his teachers called me at 6 pm because she didn't want him upset over it. She said she read the words homework and meltdown and felt she had to call me right away. She didn't want him upset over this. We cleared up the issue (which was nothing major, which I figured). We also discussed a few things such as, sometimes he will take a quiz/do a worksheet and not fully comprehend what a question is asking. He'll get it partly wrong because he didn't answer it completely. When I reviewed a few papers with him he instantly knew what the correct answers were. So, his one teacher will be discussing this with the Special Ed teacher to see what we can do to make sure he is fully understanding what the question is asking. I'm in awe. I think we're on the same page. It's frustrating for him to get something wrong that he knows but is not answering it right because he doesn't understand the question. Hopefully we can come up with a workable solution.
We've agreed to set up a face to face meeting in a few weeks and review how he's doing. I have a good feeling about this year. I think it has potential to be a year where he progresses to where he needs to be. I'm excited and filled with hope.
Weather news aside, the school year has gone really well so far. I'm almost afraid I'm going to jinx it by feeling so positive. Goalieboy has been right in sync with things with little or no complaint. That's a major accomplishment here. He's very opinionated and full of boy drama. So far, most of it hasn't been over the top.
I thought we would have some issues with him wearing his new (purple!) hearing aids to school but amazingly that has been a non issue. He seems more comfortable and confident with them. I think the timing was right getting them right after school was over in June. He was always self conscience of his old one (he only had a single loaner one for three months). I think he's really embraced them. They are really helping him in so many ways. I'm amazed that I rarely have to remind him in the mornings to put them on. The only issues we seem to have is the tug of war after he's taken them off because he's been playing outside. At that point, I think he's just done with them for the day. I think what works best for us is just keeping a routine then he knows what's expected.
School is going (dare I say) great so far. He likes most of his classmates and his teachers. He's in a co-teaching model classroom. Before this year it was called a collaborative class. For those unfamiliar with this (these didn't exist when I was in school) concept: It's a classroom with two teachers. One is regular ed(ucation) and the other is special ed. The class they teach is a mix of regular kids and kids with IEP (Individual Education Plans). Most of the IEP children have always been in the general ed setting while a few are graduated into it from the special education classroom. It's great in theory and potentially fantastic with the right mix of teachers and kids.
Third grade is the first grade it is offered to children in our school if there are enough students (and teachers) to make up a class. It didn't go that well for us last year. The class was big (26 students) and chaotic. The teachers didn't teach as well together as I had heard they had done in years past. Nothing seemed to mesh and it was frustrating for everyone. It just didn't work and Goalieboy suffered from it.
This year seems to be a different case. As I observed the two teachers during last weeks open house I was very impressed. They appear to work well together and have good chemistry.
I'm excited to say, Goalieboy seems engaged in class. I can ask him several hours after pickup about his day and he can give me clear details. Last year, it was mainly the dreaded, "I don't remember." response. Last night, during dinner, he regaled me about what he was learning in social studies. He was giving me names of states, oceans and lakes. His teachers are reaching him! What a wonderful thing. I'm so excited!
His teachers seem to really care about their students. Today I emailed them after school (which I've never done before) because Goalieboy had a meltdown over a math worksheet. He knew how to do the work and didn't get why he needed to show it a certain way. I put out the fire the best I could by telling him to do it his way and I would ask the teachers about it. One of his teachers called me at 6 pm because she didn't want him upset over it. She said she read the words homework and meltdown and felt she had to call me right away. She didn't want him upset over this. We cleared up the issue (which was nothing major, which I figured). We also discussed a few things such as, sometimes he will take a quiz/do a worksheet and not fully comprehend what a question is asking. He'll get it partly wrong because he didn't answer it completely. When I reviewed a few papers with him he instantly knew what the correct answers were. So, his one teacher will be discussing this with the Special Ed teacher to see what we can do to make sure he is fully understanding what the question is asking. I'm in awe. I think we're on the same page. It's frustrating for him to get something wrong that he knows but is not answering it right because he doesn't understand the question. Hopefully we can come up with a workable solution.
We've agreed to set up a face to face meeting in a few weeks and review how he's doing. I have a good feeling about this year. I think it has potential to be a year where he progresses to where he needs to be. I'm excited and filled with hope.
Monday, July 25, 2011
To My Son
My son turned 9 on July 23rd. I can't believe how quickly he is growing up. I stand by ready to help him when he stumbles and support him when needs it. I answer his many questions and offer advice. He is very independent. He is stubborn (just like both his parents) and believes he knows everything and is always right. I find it endearing and annoying all at once. It scares me that adolescences is right around the corner. I will always be there for him to lean on and will help him up when he falls. It's inevitable as it's part of growing up. He'll never have to do it alone because I will be by his side all the way.
On my other blog Juggling Act Called Life I wrote this post about his birth story...
I sit here thinking back to 9 years ago when my oldest was born. It was such an amazing day. I was both nervous and scared to be bring a new life into the world. I hoped and prayed I would be a good mom. I was terrified of the unknown from birth on. I was so scared about going into labor. The only thing that overrode my fears was the fact that I could not wait to meet the amazing child I had growing inside my body.
I'm still amazed I even willingly got pregnant. I swore I would never have a baby. Not because I didn't like children but because I was terrified of pain, needles and the thought of pushing a baby out of my va-jayjay. I liked kids well enough. I babysat A LOT from the time I was 11 until 16. I figured one day, far down the road I would probably adopt. My husband changed my mind easily. I was eager to create a new life that was part of both of us. I sucked it up and got through all the tests, the needles, the poking, the prodding and exposing myself monthly (then weekly) to doctors. Somehow, even after everything, I'm still modest and hate being check out "down there". Funny I know but that's just me.
I suffered all day morning sickness from the very moment I realized I was pregnant. I got violently ill right before Thanksgiving and I just knew. My husband had to work Thanksgiving morning so I ran to the local CVS to buy a pregnancy test and a card that read Congratulations You're a Father! Thanksgiving dinner was just the two of us because we had no family nearby at the time. It was a disaster because my (first ever) turkey wouldn't cook. So we just ate sides for dinner. I ducked into the bathroom before dessert and took the test. I didn't realize at the time that they work best first thing in the morning but that didn't seem to matter. It showed I was indeed Pregnant!! So, when I came out I served dessert and while we were snuggling on the couch I gave him the card. The shock and joy that crossed his face in those first few seconds said it all. I was nervous and excited. What did I know about being a mom?! Well, there was no looking back. It was time to look forward and plan to welcome new life into the world in nine short months.
Some how I survived morning sickness...lots of wheat thins, triscuts, grapes and baby carrots. I had that damn nausea all day long from the beginning until about a month before he was born. Too bad that isn't the good news it sounds like. Once the morning sickness ended I THEN had constant acid reflux 24/7 until 24 hours AFTER he was born. I still remember begging the labor nurse to tell me that once he was born that it would end and she told me yes. She LIED!! I was so upset at the time I almost cried. I just wanted to eat real food and enjoy it for once in a long time.
On the evening of July 22nd my first contraction hit. He was due on July 24th but if I didn't go into labor by the afternoon of the 23rd my doctor was going to induce me. I had been S-L-O-W-L-Y dilating since the end of June and my cervix was about 90% effaced the week before. My first contraction hit at 10:30 p.m. while I was on the phone talking to my dad and giving him directions to our new place. We had moved an hour away from where we had lived when I had first gotten pregnant. He was driving up the next day...it would be a six hour drive for him. My mom had been staying with us and helping me out for the last three weeks. I am so grateful she was there for me. Five minutes after the first contraction hit the second followed. I quickly hung up the phone, ran to the bathroom and puked my late night dinner.I still remember we were watching that baseball movie with Freddie Prinz Jr and Jessica Beil. Some details are so clear.
After that I called the doctor and we left immediately for the hospital. My mom had a history of quick labors as did her mom. I had forewarned my OB so we were in agreement that I should head out. Since I refused to change doctors after moving we had an hour drive ahead of us. It was my first child and I wanted to go through labor with the doctor I trusted. I was tempting fate. That drive during the daytime could have easily taken two hours or more during rush hour. That route is extremely. I thank God that I went into labor in the late evening hours. I fear I would've made the news otherwise by giving birth in the car on the freeway.
We made it to the hospital by 11:45. My normally calm husband was a bit tense because my contractions were strong, steady and getting closer together. I'd say he was a bit freaked out. I had sworn I wouldn't ask for a wheelchair when I got the hospital but man did those contractions change my mind really quick. There was no way I was going to be able to walk to the elevator or anything! Wheelchair it was!
My doctor took FOREVER to get there. Meanwhile I was settled into a birthing room. The doctor on duty finally came in to check me around 12:20/12:30. At that point she announced I was 9 1/2 centimeters dilated and (her words) bulging! The only thing keeping him is was the fact that somehow my water had yet to break. All I know is I had been fighting the urge to push for a while. Not knowing, I just thought I had to poop. I kept worrying I was going to poop on the table. Seriously. Now I understand that the feeling was actually the urge to push the baby out of my body. The doctor said not to push. HA! I tried to be accommodating while thinking she was nuts. I agreed to try. What was I thinking?! I guess my mouse side was showing and I didn't want to call attention to myself. Crazy me. Pregnant women in the middle of hard labor are pretty attention getting.
My mom was there holding my hand as the contractions kept coming. I was so glad she could be there for my first child. My husband and her really helped. I knew my husband wanted to watch the birth so I counted on my mom's support up by my head. He is so fascinated by the whole process. He told me he was glued to it when his first daughter was born. Amazingly he was able to multitask and comfort me while watching the show. He held my other hand, reassuring me with each contraction while taking glimpses of my body giving birth. I'm so glad he got to experience the whole thing again. I didn't want to deny him of that miracle.
Good thing I hadn't opted for drugs of any kind because there wouldn't have been any time. Honestly, the decision to labor drug free was once again my fear of needles. I hate pain but I hate needles more. Go figure. I was worried they would come in to administer the epidural and I'd puke or flinch. Yep, wasn't going to chance it. Not less than two minutes after the doctor left I came to the conclusion (with my mom's help) that the baby was coming and there was no waiting. I needed to push. My body refused to take no for an answer. My mom is not the outspoken type yet she opened that door and demanded the doctor come back because our baby was coming whether she liked it or not.
The doctor listened thank goodness. She rechecked me and broke my water. My doctor made it minutes after that. She barely had time to scrub up and get into position. My son was born two pushes later. It should have been one push but he had a huge head (90th percentile). We welcomed Goalieboy into the world at 12:51 a.m. July 23rd, 2002. He was 7 lbs. 1.8 oz, 20 1/2 inches long. His head was 13 1/4 inches and it ripped me when I pushed him out. It was over so quickly. I felt every stitch of that episiotomy and the shot with the numbing meds was extremely painful on that sensitive swollen area. It hurt almost more than those pushes. Seriously!
Looking back I remember all the feelings rushing at me. I was overwhelmed, happy and terrified scared. I was so nervous about being responsible for this tiny human being. Somehow, I pushed past it all. From the moment of his conception I have loved him. He is my world and I would do anything for him. He may drive me insane more often than not and I may question myself as a parent at times. But that's part of parenting. Parenting has no instruction manual. We learn as we go, by trial and error. I've learned to trust my maternal instinct as they are usually right.
I love my boy. He will always be my baby (even as the oldest). I have no regrets. I don't always make the right decisions and neither does he but we are in it together. I wouldn't change a thing.
*******
We spent his birthday morning looking through his scrapbook together. The pictures and the stories brought the wonderful memories back to my mind clear as day. I cried tears of joy and sadness. I am amazed and overjoyed with the boy my baby has become. I am devastated that I can never actually relive those moments. It breaks my heart but the memory book keeps them fresh and alive. It's so important to capture these moments and write the story around the pictures. Make sure you take every day pictures. Those little moments are just as important as the big ones, maybe even more so. Writing brings the story back clear as day. It's the details that make it shine. I know it's hard for us to make the time for these things. I have literally thousands of pictures I need to get working on. I have everything for my daughter's book and I haven't gotten more than 5 pages completed. After walking down memory lane with his book I'm inspired to finish hers. These are books I will be giving them when they are old enough to care for them. They will know the love I put into them and hopefully cherish them like I do.
On my other blog Juggling Act Called Life I wrote this post about his birth story...
I sit here thinking back to 9 years ago when my oldest was born. It was such an amazing day. I was both nervous and scared to be bring a new life into the world. I hoped and prayed I would be a good mom. I was terrified of the unknown from birth on. I was so scared about going into labor. The only thing that overrode my fears was the fact that I could not wait to meet the amazing child I had growing inside my body.
I'm still amazed I even willingly got pregnant. I swore I would never have a baby. Not because I didn't like children but because I was terrified of pain, needles and the thought of pushing a baby out of my va-jayjay. I liked kids well enough. I babysat A LOT from the time I was 11 until 16. I figured one day, far down the road I would probably adopt. My husband changed my mind easily. I was eager to create a new life that was part of both of us. I sucked it up and got through all the tests, the needles, the poking, the prodding and exposing myself monthly (then weekly) to doctors. Somehow, even after everything, I'm still modest and hate being check out "down there". Funny I know but that's just me.
I suffered all day morning sickness from the very moment I realized I was pregnant. I got violently ill right before Thanksgiving and I just knew. My husband had to work Thanksgiving morning so I ran to the local CVS to buy a pregnancy test and a card that read Congratulations You're a Father! Thanksgiving dinner was just the two of us because we had no family nearby at the time. It was a disaster because my (first ever) turkey wouldn't cook. So we just ate sides for dinner. I ducked into the bathroom before dessert and took the test. I didn't realize at the time that they work best first thing in the morning but that didn't seem to matter. It showed I was indeed Pregnant!! So, when I came out I served dessert and while we were snuggling on the couch I gave him the card. The shock and joy that crossed his face in those first few seconds said it all. I was nervous and excited. What did I know about being a mom?! Well, there was no looking back. It was time to look forward and plan to welcome new life into the world in nine short months.
Some how I survived morning sickness...lots of wheat thins, triscuts, grapes and baby carrots. I had that damn nausea all day long from the beginning until about a month before he was born. Too bad that isn't the good news it sounds like. Once the morning sickness ended I THEN had constant acid reflux 24/7 until 24 hours AFTER he was born. I still remember begging the labor nurse to tell me that once he was born that it would end and she told me yes. She LIED!! I was so upset at the time I almost cried. I just wanted to eat real food and enjoy it for once in a long time.
On the evening of July 22nd my first contraction hit. He was due on July 24th but if I didn't go into labor by the afternoon of the 23rd my doctor was going to induce me. I had been S-L-O-W-L-Y dilating since the end of June and my cervix was about 90% effaced the week before. My first contraction hit at 10:30 p.m. while I was on the phone talking to my dad and giving him directions to our new place. We had moved an hour away from where we had lived when I had first gotten pregnant. He was driving up the next day...it would be a six hour drive for him. My mom had been staying with us and helping me out for the last three weeks. I am so grateful she was there for me. Five minutes after the first contraction hit the second followed. I quickly hung up the phone, ran to the bathroom and puked my late night dinner.I still remember we were watching that baseball movie with Freddie Prinz Jr and Jessica Beil. Some details are so clear.
After that I called the doctor and we left immediately for the hospital. My mom had a history of quick labors as did her mom. I had forewarned my OB so we were in agreement that I should head out. Since I refused to change doctors after moving we had an hour drive ahead of us. It was my first child and I wanted to go through labor with the doctor I trusted. I was tempting fate. That drive during the daytime could have easily taken two hours or more during rush hour. That route is extremely. I thank God that I went into labor in the late evening hours. I fear I would've made the news otherwise by giving birth in the car on the freeway.
We made it to the hospital by 11:45. My normally calm husband was a bit tense because my contractions were strong, steady and getting closer together. I'd say he was a bit freaked out. I had sworn I wouldn't ask for a wheelchair when I got the hospital but man did those contractions change my mind really quick. There was no way I was going to be able to walk to the elevator or anything! Wheelchair it was!
My doctor took FOREVER to get there. Meanwhile I was settled into a birthing room. The doctor on duty finally came in to check me around 12:20/12:30. At that point she announced I was 9 1/2 centimeters dilated and (her words) bulging! The only thing keeping him is was the fact that somehow my water had yet to break. All I know is I had been fighting the urge to push for a while. Not knowing, I just thought I had to poop. I kept worrying I was going to poop on the table. Seriously. Now I understand that the feeling was actually the urge to push the baby out of my body. The doctor said not to push. HA! I tried to be accommodating while thinking she was nuts. I agreed to try. What was I thinking?! I guess my mouse side was showing and I didn't want to call attention to myself. Crazy me. Pregnant women in the middle of hard labor are pretty attention getting.
My mom was there holding my hand as the contractions kept coming. I was so glad she could be there for my first child. My husband and her really helped. I knew my husband wanted to watch the birth so I counted on my mom's support up by my head. He is so fascinated by the whole process. He told me he was glued to it when his first daughter was born. Amazingly he was able to multitask and comfort me while watching the show. He held my other hand, reassuring me with each contraction while taking glimpses of my body giving birth. I'm so glad he got to experience the whole thing again. I didn't want to deny him of that miracle.
Good thing I hadn't opted for drugs of any kind because there wouldn't have been any time. Honestly, the decision to labor drug free was once again my fear of needles. I hate pain but I hate needles more. Go figure. I was worried they would come in to administer the epidural and I'd puke or flinch. Yep, wasn't going to chance it. Not less than two minutes after the doctor left I came to the conclusion (with my mom's help) that the baby was coming and there was no waiting. I needed to push. My body refused to take no for an answer. My mom is not the outspoken type yet she opened that door and demanded the doctor come back because our baby was coming whether she liked it or not.
The doctor listened thank goodness. She rechecked me and broke my water. My doctor made it minutes after that. She barely had time to scrub up and get into position. My son was born two pushes later. It should have been one push but he had a huge head (90th percentile). We welcomed Goalieboy into the world at 12:51 a.m. July 23rd, 2002. He was 7 lbs. 1.8 oz, 20 1/2 inches long. His head was 13 1/4 inches and it ripped me when I pushed him out. It was over so quickly. I felt every stitch of that episiotomy and the shot with the numbing meds was extremely painful on that sensitive swollen area. It hurt almost more than those pushes. Seriously!
Looking back I remember all the feelings rushing at me. I was overwhelmed, happy and terrified scared. I was so nervous about being responsible for this tiny human being. Somehow, I pushed past it all. From the moment of his conception I have loved him. He is my world and I would do anything for him. He may drive me insane more often than not and I may question myself as a parent at times. But that's part of parenting. Parenting has no instruction manual. We learn as we go, by trial and error. I've learned to trust my maternal instinct as they are usually right.
I love my boy. He will always be my baby (even as the oldest). I have no regrets. I don't always make the right decisions and neither does he but we are in it together. I wouldn't change a thing.
*******
We spent his birthday morning looking through his scrapbook together. The pictures and the stories brought the wonderful memories back to my mind clear as day. I cried tears of joy and sadness. I am amazed and overjoyed with the boy my baby has become. I am devastated that I can never actually relive those moments. It breaks my heart but the memory book keeps them fresh and alive. It's so important to capture these moments and write the story around the pictures. Make sure you take every day pictures. Those little moments are just as important as the big ones, maybe even more so. Writing brings the story back clear as day. It's the details that make it shine. I know it's hard for us to make the time for these things. I have literally thousands of pictures I need to get working on. I have everything for my daughter's book and I haven't gotten more than 5 pages completed. After walking down memory lane with his book I'm inspired to finish hers. These are books I will be giving them when they are old enough to care for them. They will know the love I put into them and hopefully cherish them like I do.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
A scare in the night
It was after midnight. The room was dark and quiet except for the hum of the air conditioner. The bedroom door is closed to keep the cool air in and the warm air out.
A screeching sound breaks the silence. It's the sound of a bedroom door opening and moments later, closing It's a miracle I even hear it. My hubby doesn't even twitch. I lay there listening but don't hear any footsteps. Odd that I even heard the door open.
Whenever I hear a door open I listen intently for the padding of little feet. Most of the time they head to and from the bathroom at the other end of the hall. Occasionally they'll make their way to our bedroom next door. Then I'm needed to soothe bad dreams or upset tummies.
This time, nothing. Silence. Then I hear the door open once again. No bathroom sounds. Weird. The door doesn't click closed.
I always get up to check on the kids after I've heard one of them up at night. It's just my thing. I always like to make sure everything is alright.
Once, I checked in on Goalieboy after a bathroom visit and found him in bed sobbing quietly. He didn't want to wake me up after having a nightmare. He thought daddy would get angry if he was awoken. I laid in bed with him, gently rubbing his back. We made up stories to chase the nightmares away. Eventually I had him laughing and all was well.
I quietly climbed out of bed, so as not to disturb the slumbering bear who had to be awake for work in three hours. I opened the bedroom door and what did I see? Goalieboy standing in his doorway. He looked confused, a bit baffled. He mumbled something I couldn't understand. He looked down and that's when I saw what was in his hands. He was carrying his sneakers in one hand and a baseball hat in the other. I was in shock. I was grateful I had opened the bedroom door to check on him. I took the shoes and hat from his hands and put them away. Then, I carefully manuevered him into bed, pulled the covers over him and kissed him goodnight before quietly leaving the room.
To most, this incident would seem funny. I know I would've wanted to laugh. Problem is, Goalieboy occasionally sleep walks. It's rare and he's never done anything dangerous. This time he scared me to death. All I could think of is what if I hadn't heard him? What if he had gone downstairs and out the door?
It could happen. I use to talk in my sleep, as he does. A few times my parents recall me wandering around our house asleep. The scariest part for me is my mom use to sleep walk. Hers was full blown. She would actually leave the house in the middle of the night as a young girl. She told stories where she had crossed busy streets. The thought of this terrifies me. I'm grateful it hasn't come to that yet. I will now sleep even lighter at night. I'm already very aware because he has nightmares and even night terrors on occasion.
I asked him about it this morning and he remembers nothing. He thought it was funny. He even asked which hat he grabbed. I didn't want to worry him so we joked about it.
Tonight, I won't be sleeping well. Our bedroom door will be partway open. I'm more than willing to let the cool air out so I can hear him. It's going to be a long night. Praying for no repeats.
A screeching sound breaks the silence. It's the sound of a bedroom door opening and moments later, closing It's a miracle I even hear it. My hubby doesn't even twitch. I lay there listening but don't hear any footsteps. Odd that I even heard the door open.
Whenever I hear a door open I listen intently for the padding of little feet. Most of the time they head to and from the bathroom at the other end of the hall. Occasionally they'll make their way to our bedroom next door. Then I'm needed to soothe bad dreams or upset tummies.
This time, nothing. Silence. Then I hear the door open once again. No bathroom sounds. Weird. The door doesn't click closed.
I always get up to check on the kids after I've heard one of them up at night. It's just my thing. I always like to make sure everything is alright.
Once, I checked in on Goalieboy after a bathroom visit and found him in bed sobbing quietly. He didn't want to wake me up after having a nightmare. He thought daddy would get angry if he was awoken. I laid in bed with him, gently rubbing his back. We made up stories to chase the nightmares away. Eventually I had him laughing and all was well.
I quietly climbed out of bed, so as not to disturb the slumbering bear who had to be awake for work in three hours. I opened the bedroom door and what did I see? Goalieboy standing in his doorway. He looked confused, a bit baffled. He mumbled something I couldn't understand. He looked down and that's when I saw what was in his hands. He was carrying his sneakers in one hand and a baseball hat in the other. I was in shock. I was grateful I had opened the bedroom door to check on him. I took the shoes and hat from his hands and put them away. Then, I carefully manuevered him into bed, pulled the covers over him and kissed him goodnight before quietly leaving the room.
To most, this incident would seem funny. I know I would've wanted to laugh. Problem is, Goalieboy occasionally sleep walks. It's rare and he's never done anything dangerous. This time he scared me to death. All I could think of is what if I hadn't heard him? What if he had gone downstairs and out the door?
It could happen. I use to talk in my sleep, as he does. A few times my parents recall me wandering around our house asleep. The scariest part for me is my mom use to sleep walk. Hers was full blown. She would actually leave the house in the middle of the night as a young girl. She told stories where she had crossed busy streets. The thought of this terrifies me. I'm grateful it hasn't come to that yet. I will now sleep even lighter at night. I'm already very aware because he has nightmares and even night terrors on occasion.
I asked him about it this morning and he remembers nothing. He thought it was funny. He even asked which hat he grabbed. I didn't want to worry him so we joked about it.
Tonight, I won't be sleeping well. Our bedroom door will be partway open. I'm more than willing to let the cool air out so I can hear him. It's going to be a long night. Praying for no repeats.
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Friday, June 17, 2011
In the beginning
I've had several people ask me how we found out Goalieboy had a hearing impairment. This post will be dedicated to sharing how we found out. There's a lot of twists and turns to our saga so I will share those in later posts.
In the beginning...Goalieboy was a cheerful, happy baby. The first few months were rough as we found a routine that worked for us but it wasn't long before he was sleeping 4-6 hours a night and napping 3 hours at a time during the day. He had this belly laugh that was contagious. I really miss that boisterous laugh. We would bring him into restaurants and he would either sleep through our meal or smile and coo at everyone. We constantly got compliments on how sweet and adorable he was. He had the best dispositon.
He was babbling like most babies and said his first word just a little later than the "average" child. He could get across his needs/wants with a simple word or two. I noticed he was a little behind in speech around 2 1/2-3. There were words he would say that only myself or my mom would understand. I didn't notice it as being a problem right away because I was a working mom and we didn't have the time to socialize with other kids. Sad, but true. We also moved a few times when he was younger so we didn't know many of our neighbors. I would occasionally compare his progress to my friend's daughter who was 2 months older. She was the only child we knew around his age.
We put him into preschool when he was 3. We felt he really needed the socialization and since his sister was born the year before he wasn't as happy go lucky as he'd previously been. We knew he needed to learn how to interact with other kids and get along. Overall, the first few months of preschool went well. He made friends and seemed to get along with the other kids.
In January, his school does a mid-year evaluation with parents/caregivers. He was progressing well but the teacher did notice some problems. While he got a long with the other children there were definitely some communication issues. Sometimes he wouldn't understand them or they wouldn't understand him. He would get frustrated and grab what he wanted or get upset. She told me she felt he was having issues with his hearing. She believed also that he was reading her lips when he was having trouble hearing. She said that she noticed if she was too far away when she was speaking to him his eyes would focus on her lips. She got in the habit of kneeling down in front of him and making sure he could see her face. She said there were times when he seemed uncooperative but it was actually because he couldn't hear the instructions or see their mouths to determine what was being said. I had believed there was a problem deep down and this was confirmation that I was right. I had approached my husband with my feelings and he believed everything was fine. So, I kept watching, hoping I was wrong since this was my first child. I've since learned...mother's intuition should always be followed up on because it's right more times than not.
Looking back I'm upset and frustrated that more help wasn't offered or guidance given. I also don't understand why I wasn't told until January.Seriously, I believe I should have been spoken with by mid-November at the latest with their beliefs. I do believe they are good teachers and really helped him to cope. He did grow and thrive during his 2 years there. However, why wasn't it suggested that I seek early intervention? I understand that they might have been leery offering this advice as some parents are not open to it. But, I believe, it's their job to be candid and help guide parents. I knew nothing. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would've gotten him early intervention. He could have had speech therapy earlier. He often drops the "s" on plural words and also word endings, such as "ing", "ed", etc. He will say home instead of house. The school is providing speech and (some) reading help but it's not quality. I wish we could afford help outside the school.
I find it deplorable that parents have to fight for the educational system to help their child. I find it unacceptable that teachers can get in trouble for helping steer parents in the right direction. I have been told on several occassions by teachers that they could get in trouble if the administration found out what they were telling me. I am so thankful that they risked their jobs to help us.
This is the beginning of Goalieboy's journey and how his hearing impairment was discovered. It is only the first step in many of our ongoing battle.
Next journey post will be about his kindergarten screening, speech, finding an ENT and his first tube surgery.
In the beginning...Goalieboy was a cheerful, happy baby. The first few months were rough as we found a routine that worked for us but it wasn't long before he was sleeping 4-6 hours a night and napping 3 hours at a time during the day. He had this belly laugh that was contagious. I really miss that boisterous laugh. We would bring him into restaurants and he would either sleep through our meal or smile and coo at everyone. We constantly got compliments on how sweet and adorable he was. He had the best dispositon.
He was babbling like most babies and said his first word just a little later than the "average" child. He could get across his needs/wants with a simple word or two. I noticed he was a little behind in speech around 2 1/2-3. There were words he would say that only myself or my mom would understand. I didn't notice it as being a problem right away because I was a working mom and we didn't have the time to socialize with other kids. Sad, but true. We also moved a few times when he was younger so we didn't know many of our neighbors. I would occasionally compare his progress to my friend's daughter who was 2 months older. She was the only child we knew around his age.
We put him into preschool when he was 3. We felt he really needed the socialization and since his sister was born the year before he wasn't as happy go lucky as he'd previously been. We knew he needed to learn how to interact with other kids and get along. Overall, the first few months of preschool went well. He made friends and seemed to get along with the other kids.
In January, his school does a mid-year evaluation with parents/caregivers. He was progressing well but the teacher did notice some problems. While he got a long with the other children there were definitely some communication issues. Sometimes he wouldn't understand them or they wouldn't understand him. He would get frustrated and grab what he wanted or get upset. She told me she felt he was having issues with his hearing. She believed also that he was reading her lips when he was having trouble hearing. She said that she noticed if she was too far away when she was speaking to him his eyes would focus on her lips. She got in the habit of kneeling down in front of him and making sure he could see her face. She said there were times when he seemed uncooperative but it was actually because he couldn't hear the instructions or see their mouths to determine what was being said. I had believed there was a problem deep down and this was confirmation that I was right. I had approached my husband with my feelings and he believed everything was fine. So, I kept watching, hoping I was wrong since this was my first child. I've since learned...mother's intuition should always be followed up on because it's right more times than not.
Looking back I'm upset and frustrated that more help wasn't offered or guidance given. I also don't understand why I wasn't told until January.Seriously, I believe I should have been spoken with by mid-November at the latest with their beliefs. I do believe they are good teachers and really helped him to cope. He did grow and thrive during his 2 years there. However, why wasn't it suggested that I seek early intervention? I understand that they might have been leery offering this advice as some parents are not open to it. But, I believe, it's their job to be candid and help guide parents. I knew nothing. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would've gotten him early intervention. He could have had speech therapy earlier. He often drops the "s" on plural words and also word endings, such as "ing", "ed", etc. He will say home instead of house. The school is providing speech and (some) reading help but it's not quality. I wish we could afford help outside the school.
I find it deplorable that parents have to fight for the educational system to help their child. I find it unacceptable that teachers can get in trouble for helping steer parents in the right direction. I have been told on several occassions by teachers that they could get in trouble if the administration found out what they were telling me. I am so thankful that they risked their jobs to help us.
This is the beginning of Goalieboy's journey and how his hearing impairment was discovered. It is only the first step in many of our ongoing battle.
Next journey post will be about his kindergarten screening, speech, finding an ENT and his first tube surgery.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Jealousy
One of the hard emotions Goalie Boy had to deal with this week is jealousy. He is having a hard time with it at home.
This week was Little Bee's 7th birthday. I talked to him about it before hand and reminded him that he would have his own special day at the end of next month. He has been battling jealous/envy off and on. Sometimes everything is fine, no issues. Other times it's overwhelming and unbearable. He told me he understood and seemed excited to help her celebrate. He even filled out a special card for her.
Too bad it didn't last. He didn't quite seem to grasp the concept even though we reminded him several times that it was her birthday and her presents. We even got him a little present that he enjoyed playing with.
When she opened her first present he wanted to help. She wanted to do it herself. What 7 year old wouldn't? When she unwrapped the jewelry kit full of beads he wanted to open up the packaging and start making things with it. We had to tell him to stop. The next present was a messenger bad that she could color. He wanted to color it with her. Again, we had to remind him that it was hers and she didn't need or want any help. I felt bad for him. He doesn't necessarily need to be the center of attention but he doesn't want anyone else to be it either. We tried to refocus and redirect him. We were very patient.
He got upset when Little Bee said she wanted spaghetti for her Birthday dinner. He doesn't like spaghetti. I understand that but it's her birthday dinner and she loves it. She didn't pick it to be spiteful. He whined and cried the whole time I was making and serving it. I told him he had to eat some of it. I would've make him a sandwich afterwards if necessary. He ended up eating it and even said he liked the way I made it that time. Go figure.
We didn't let his overall belligerent attitude ruin the night. It wasn't fair to Little Bee. After dinner, she got her "surprise" gift. A walking puppy. He was all over that. He was so upset that he didn't get one. We couldn't get him to comprehend that it was her special day and he had one of his very own coming up really soon. While we were helping Little Bee get her doggy out of the box he huffed into the living room in a pout. When we were done he came back in and threw himself into a chair at the kitchen table. My husband was done with having to deal with the mood swings. Goalie Boy was upset and mad because we got the toy out of the box and not him. He was angry because Little Bee didn't let him help. He often forgets that we are the parents and he is the child. My husband sent him up to his room. We were at the breaking point and his attitude took the shine of the day for Little Bee.
We made him stay up there for 15 minutes while we went outside with Little Bee and her doggy. He said he was sorry and within minutes they were playing great together. I ache for his mood swings. I wish I knew how to help him. We try to remind him of expectations and keep the rules strict so he knows the line. Even while I'm getting upset and frustrated, my heart breaks for him. I wish he could see what we see, maybe then he could understand.
This weeks been full of these emotional battles but to a lesser degree. I know some of it is due to the school year slowly coming to a close and the heat. We'll keep working on it.
One day at a time
This week was Little Bee's 7th birthday. I talked to him about it before hand and reminded him that he would have his own special day at the end of next month. He has been battling jealous/envy off and on. Sometimes everything is fine, no issues. Other times it's overwhelming and unbearable. He told me he understood and seemed excited to help her celebrate. He even filled out a special card for her.
Too bad it didn't last. He didn't quite seem to grasp the concept even though we reminded him several times that it was her birthday and her presents. We even got him a little present that he enjoyed playing with.
When she opened her first present he wanted to help. She wanted to do it herself. What 7 year old wouldn't? When she unwrapped the jewelry kit full of beads he wanted to open up the packaging and start making things with it. We had to tell him to stop. The next present was a messenger bad that she could color. He wanted to color it with her. Again, we had to remind him that it was hers and she didn't need or want any help. I felt bad for him. He doesn't necessarily need to be the center of attention but he doesn't want anyone else to be it either. We tried to refocus and redirect him. We were very patient.
He got upset when Little Bee said she wanted spaghetti for her Birthday dinner. He doesn't like spaghetti. I understand that but it's her birthday dinner and she loves it. She didn't pick it to be spiteful. He whined and cried the whole time I was making and serving it. I told him he had to eat some of it. I would've make him a sandwich afterwards if necessary. He ended up eating it and even said he liked the way I made it that time. Go figure.
We didn't let his overall belligerent attitude ruin the night. It wasn't fair to Little Bee. After dinner, she got her "surprise" gift. A walking puppy. He was all over that. He was so upset that he didn't get one. We couldn't get him to comprehend that it was her special day and he had one of his very own coming up really soon. While we were helping Little Bee get her doggy out of the box he huffed into the living room in a pout. When we were done he came back in and threw himself into a chair at the kitchen table. My husband was done with having to deal with the mood swings. Goalie Boy was upset and mad because we got the toy out of the box and not him. He was angry because Little Bee didn't let him help. He often forgets that we are the parents and he is the child. My husband sent him up to his room. We were at the breaking point and his attitude took the shine of the day for Little Bee.
We made him stay up there for 15 minutes while we went outside with Little Bee and her doggy. He said he was sorry and within minutes they were playing great together. I ache for his mood swings. I wish I knew how to help him. We try to remind him of expectations and keep the rules strict so he knows the line. Even while I'm getting upset and frustrated, my heart breaks for him. I wish he could see what we see, maybe then he could understand.
This weeks been full of these emotional battles but to a lesser degree. I know some of it is due to the school year slowly coming to a close and the heat. We'll keep working on it.
One day at a time
Monday, June 6, 2011
Choices, choices...What will it be?
As some of you know, Goalie Boy is an avid hockey player. He lives it, he breathes it. No lie. He could do without almost anything but having the ability to play hockey. He is an exceptional goalie. His hearing impairment and poor eyesight don't stand in his way. It is the one place he focuses 100%. It's amazing. It's like he's a different child when he's on the ice. Do you have a child like this?
Early last month we received news that the doors to our local rink were closing. We put off tellling my son for almost a week. We had to work out the right way to tell him. We knew the news would be devastating. We didn't want him to internalize his feelings and become upset and withdrawn. I fear that with him.
There is only one rink in our county. The closest ones are an hour away. We wanted to do a bit of research to ease his mind. We are financially strapped but this is the one thing we agreed we wouldn't give up. If you were in this position, is there something you would find away to pay no matter what? This is our one thing.
When we told him we were point blank about it. Honey, the rink's closing next month. The great news is you can still play hockey we're just going to have to drive further. How would you like to check out these rinks? I can not express how lucky we are that as much as it hurt for him to hear the rink was closing, the part he heard most is, "you can still play".
We researched rinks and decided to try one that was almost a straight shot down the highway. We did the drive in about 55 minutes. Figured it was the rink of choice because it would be easiest to drive in wintertime.
Overall we liked the rink. Our main problem was lack of communication. The hockey director wasn't there and no one had a clue on when he'd be in or any details about their in-house league. They weren't helpful. We found out the rink is a hub for travel teams and we're holding off another year on that. Getting info was like pulling teeth. We also did open skating there and I have to say I was disappointed that the skate guard spent more time chatting up the girls at the snack bar than on the actual ice.
Goalie Boy liked it so we decided that we were good to go. Overall, the pros outweighed the con. However, yesterday we took a drive a little over an hour in the opposite direction to check out another rink. Part of it was highway but most of it was main, windy back roads. Does that even make sense?
We decided to check it out for a few reasons:
Let me just say the drive was worth it! The rink it bright and spacious. They just invested in a remodel so it won't be closing anytime soon. We ran into my daughter's old skating coaches and one of her friends. It was like fate. The upstairs has huge floor to ceiling windows on both sides so you can see each rink. They have a play area up there for the kids. There's a snack bar with good food upstairs and down. It's clean and has a HUGE bathroom. I thought I was in rink heaven, if there's such a place.
My daughter, after seeing it, wants to skate there. We figured, she'll skate just about anywhere, but she didn't say a word about it when we went to the first rink. My son is still set on the other rink, even though this one is way nicer and the staff is so friendly and helpful.
See, once he makes up his mind about something, he's stubborn. He has heard the first rink has openings for goalies so that's where he is determined to go. We told him that no matter what he will be have a spot and he will be playing goalie. No worries. We are emailing the director of the second rink because he was at a tournament yesterday, so we couldn't speak to him. My son is upset we're now considering the second rink.
I don't know what we're going to do. I really don't like the drive to the second rink but it feels brighter and more like family. That's what kind of rink we lost and that's what kind of rink we want. I guess, once we hear back on in-house and travel details we'll compare the two rinks and decide. We need to figure out the cost, how many practices a week and the days and times.
I really wish there was one closer but it is what it is. If we do go with the second rink I hope my son can embrace it. He's stubborn, that one.
He gets it from his dad (ummm, and his mom).
Pros: Bright, cheerful, helpful, great staff, skating coaches we know, rinks are warmed (no frozen tushes & toes), friends we know
Cons: Long drive, back roads.
Unknown: Cost, days
Early last month we received news that the doors to our local rink were closing. We put off tellling my son for almost a week. We had to work out the right way to tell him. We knew the news would be devastating. We didn't want him to internalize his feelings and become upset and withdrawn. I fear that with him.
There is only one rink in our county. The closest ones are an hour away. We wanted to do a bit of research to ease his mind. We are financially strapped but this is the one thing we agreed we wouldn't give up. If you were in this position, is there something you would find away to pay no matter what? This is our one thing.
When we told him we were point blank about it. Honey, the rink's closing next month. The great news is you can still play hockey we're just going to have to drive further. How would you like to check out these rinks? I can not express how lucky we are that as much as it hurt for him to hear the rink was closing, the part he heard most is, "you can still play".
We researched rinks and decided to try one that was almost a straight shot down the highway. We did the drive in about 55 minutes. Figured it was the rink of choice because it would be easiest to drive in wintertime.
Overall we liked the rink. Our main problem was lack of communication. The hockey director wasn't there and no one had a clue on when he'd be in or any details about their in-house league. They weren't helpful. We found out the rink is a hub for travel teams and we're holding off another year on that. Getting info was like pulling teeth. We also did open skating there and I have to say I was disappointed that the skate guard spent more time chatting up the girls at the snack bar than on the actual ice.
Goalie Boy liked it so we decided that we were good to go. Overall, the pros outweighed the con. However, yesterday we took a drive a little over an hour in the opposite direction to check out another rink. Part of it was highway but most of it was main, windy back roads. Does that even make sense?
We decided to check it out for a few reasons:
- One of Goalie Boy's teammates was signed up to play travel there for next season.
- Some of my daughter's friends are skating there.
- We heard 3 of the skating coaches went there.
Let me just say the drive was worth it! The rink it bright and spacious. They just invested in a remodel so it won't be closing anytime soon. We ran into my daughter's old skating coaches and one of her friends. It was like fate. The upstairs has huge floor to ceiling windows on both sides so you can see each rink. They have a play area up there for the kids. There's a snack bar with good food upstairs and down. It's clean and has a HUGE bathroom. I thought I was in rink heaven, if there's such a place.
My daughter, after seeing it, wants to skate there. We figured, she'll skate just about anywhere, but she didn't say a word about it when we went to the first rink. My son is still set on the other rink, even though this one is way nicer and the staff is so friendly and helpful.
See, once he makes up his mind about something, he's stubborn. He has heard the first rink has openings for goalies so that's where he is determined to go. We told him that no matter what he will be have a spot and he will be playing goalie. No worries. We are emailing the director of the second rink because he was at a tournament yesterday, so we couldn't speak to him. My son is upset we're now considering the second rink.
I don't know what we're going to do. I really don't like the drive to the second rink but it feels brighter and more like family. That's what kind of rink we lost and that's what kind of rink we want. I guess, once we hear back on in-house and travel details we'll compare the two rinks and decide. We need to figure out the cost, how many practices a week and the days and times.
I really wish there was one closer but it is what it is. If we do go with the second rink I hope my son can embrace it. He's stubborn, that one.
He gets it from his dad (ummm, and his mom).
Pros: Bright, cheerful, helpful, great staff, skating coaches we know, rinks are warmed (no frozen tushes & toes), friends we know
Cons: Long drive, back roads.
Unknown: Cost, days
Friday, June 3, 2011
Where there's T-R-O-U-B-L-E he'll f ind it
So, I've gotten 3, yes 3, calls from the school this week. Monday was a holiday but I got calls...Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I'm hoping we can end the record there and I won't receive another at some point today. Tuesday's and Thursday's calls were regarding Goalie Boy. Wednesday was a call from the nurse to pick up Little Bee. She had a tummy ache because of all the heat. Those are the kind of calls I got the first 3 years Goalie Boy was in school. It was he had a fever, tummy ache or his ears hurt. Sometimes I went and picked him up, sometimes the nurse said she thought everything was really fine and back to class he would go.
But not this year. This year I have received calls concerning these things:
Bullying
Bombing
Hand gestures
Sportsmanship/Not Listening
Don't freak out! The first two were not like they sound and everything with those two calls actually went fine. Ugh! I wish the last two calls I hadn't received. Sigh. Granted, there are worse things a parent can be called about but still, this is becoming a bad habit. My husband feels he is starting to make a name for himself and not in a good way. It's not that he's a bad kid he's just persistent, stubborn, structured and like to push the boundaries. These will all be good attributes when he's older and knows how to use them for good instead of evil.
The bullying phone call was just to let me know of an incident that happened after a Student Government meeting at the beginning of the year. They were talking about elections and my son told a classmate he was going to "beat her". It was nothing except to say he was going to win. It wasn't right what he said. However, the girl went home and mentioned it to her mom. The mom (who is my neighbor from hell and we don't speak anymore) made a HUGE fuss over it calling him a bully. She posted it all over Facebook (without coming out and naming him). She told some of our mutual friends that their children should stay away from him because he's a bad influence. And she called the principal and made a huge stink. We figured out later that she had her daughter bad mouthing the other candidate behind her back. So, the vice principal took them both into his office and they hashed it out. I was upset because I wasn't notified before hand. I had a meeting with him the next day. Everything was fine and he came right out and said it was a misunderstanding, blown out of proportion. Goalie Boy was spoken to about diplomacy and using the right words. I still laugh though that he was not allowed to tell me who the other child was that was involved. I'm glad I already knew. I think it's only fair to know who the accuser is, especially if they hadn't brought them face to face.
The "bomb threat". I got a call first from the assistant principal on this one. My phone had glitched up and somehow I missed the call and never got a voicemail. My husband's phone was on the fritz (Verizon issue) too and he didn't get his voicemail until 5pm. All the message said was that my son had said some disturbing things in school and he needed to talk with us. Fast forward to me trying to track one of the 2 principals down the whole next day. My husband and I were freaking out and my son had no idea what it was about. Finally at 2:50 the principal called and told me the situation. Goalie Boy and 3 friends devised a spy game. One of their plots was to blow up the school. Someone over heard them talking about it. Obviously, not literally but since 9/11 everyone has to be cautious about what is said. Even when it's third grade boys, which I understand. They were spoken to about the seriousness of it. The point was made too that the principal did understand that they were playing. I find it said that kids can't even play "normally" like we use to for fear of it being taken the wrong way. I miss innocence.
The finger gesture issue happened on the field trip last Thursday, right before break (the kids had off Friday through Monday). A chaperon saw my son repeatedly pointing his middle finger up and gesturing with it. Definitely not right for him to do. I have a few problems however with how the chaperon handled it, even though I know they're not a school employee. First, address it as soon as you see it and tell him to stop. Second, I know this parent. Granted, not well but we've met up with friends several times. I talk to his wife. She has my number. Why get the school involved? Yes, I understand it was during school time but it wasn't like he was bullying another kid. Also, if it had been addressed immediately, I know it wouldn't have happened again. My son never said a word to me about it and I'm disappointed in him. I do know that the parent did at switch seats and sit next to him but I guess that was after the fact. Maybe it's because this parent is also a Middle School teacher. I don't know. The conversation with the assistant principal went well. It contained words like boys will be boys and such. I guess the biggest issue was the repeated use of it. My husband and I don't flip the bird. However, my father does when he's in the car and gets angry at another driver. A conversation is coming his way soon. I also discussed with him the fact that sometimes my son does use the middle finger to point. It was something that he did consistently up until last year. However, we have spoken to him about the fact that it's inappropriate and rude. His punishment was to write a note to the chaperon and the teachers on the bus apologizing for his actions. I thought that was fair and appropriate.
Yesterday's phone call came from the gym teacher. I'm grateful she called and handled it rather than passing it upwards. It's my understanding that she had to address the class twice about sportsmanship. I guess the winners (kickball) were bragging that they beat the losing team and the losing team was disagreeing because they only played half a game. The battle raged on as only 8 and 9 year old can make it. Goalie Boy brought it up again how they didn't lose because it wasn't a full game. It's the old three strikes you're out routine. She pulled him aside and spoke with him about it. Then she told him his punishment was that he was not allowed to play kickball at recess. He could play anything else except that. More than fair I think. However, when recess came he tried to play. He insisted to his para he could play because the gym teacher wasn't there (she sometimes has recess duty with them) and it was only when she was there. He badgered the poor woman with his insistence until another para became involved and told him to stop. It was brought to the gym teacher's attention. So, his revised punishment was a call home to mom and no kickball the next day (today) during recess. Again, more than fair. I spoke with him about it and supported the teacher. He insists he didn't hear her tell them to stop the first two times because he was out of hearing range. He doesn't wear his aid for gym or recess. I told him it still wasn't acceptable for two reasons. First, he knows the rules of sportsmanship since he plays hockey. We've talked about being a humble winner and a gracious loser. He knows better. We had the talk in detail. Secondly, we've taught him that he needs to be able to speak up and advocate for himself. If something is being said and he can't hear it then he needs to let it be known. I'm sure it was obvious that she was saying something important when all the kids around him became quiet. It was his job to raise his hand and let her know he hadn't heard what she said. Our biggest fear is him using his hearing impairment for a crutch. My punishment was for him to write the para a note apologizing for being so insistent and not respecting her.
Do your children get calls or notes sent home from school? Have you ever gotten more than one in a week? Please share your struggles and let me know I'm not alone in this. It can be frustrating. I know he's a well meaning kid but his stubbornness and persistence get him into trouble. Also, there are many times he doesn't think before he speaks or acts. If he would just take a moment so many things could be avoided. I know these weaknesses now can be major strengths in his future. Hmmmm....maybe he'll become a lawyer. Too bad he doesn't like school!
But not this year. This year I have received calls concerning these things:
Bullying
Bombing
Hand gestures
Sportsmanship/Not Listening
Don't freak out! The first two were not like they sound and everything with those two calls actually went fine. Ugh! I wish the last two calls I hadn't received. Sigh. Granted, there are worse things a parent can be called about but still, this is becoming a bad habit. My husband feels he is starting to make a name for himself and not in a good way. It's not that he's a bad kid he's just persistent, stubborn, structured and like to push the boundaries. These will all be good attributes when he's older and knows how to use them for good instead of evil.
The bullying phone call was just to let me know of an incident that happened after a Student Government meeting at the beginning of the year. They were talking about elections and my son told a classmate he was going to "beat her". It was nothing except to say he was going to win. It wasn't right what he said. However, the girl went home and mentioned it to her mom. The mom (who is my neighbor from hell and we don't speak anymore) made a HUGE fuss over it calling him a bully. She posted it all over Facebook (without coming out and naming him). She told some of our mutual friends that their children should stay away from him because he's a bad influence. And she called the principal and made a huge stink. We figured out later that she had her daughter bad mouthing the other candidate behind her back. So, the vice principal took them both into his office and they hashed it out. I was upset because I wasn't notified before hand. I had a meeting with him the next day. Everything was fine and he came right out and said it was a misunderstanding, blown out of proportion. Goalie Boy was spoken to about diplomacy and using the right words. I still laugh though that he was not allowed to tell me who the other child was that was involved. I'm glad I already knew. I think it's only fair to know who the accuser is, especially if they hadn't brought them face to face.
The "bomb threat". I got a call first from the assistant principal on this one. My phone had glitched up and somehow I missed the call and never got a voicemail. My husband's phone was on the fritz (Verizon issue) too and he didn't get his voicemail until 5pm. All the message said was that my son had said some disturbing things in school and he needed to talk with us. Fast forward to me trying to track one of the 2 principals down the whole next day. My husband and I were freaking out and my son had no idea what it was about. Finally at 2:50 the principal called and told me the situation. Goalie Boy and 3 friends devised a spy game. One of their plots was to blow up the school. Someone over heard them talking about it. Obviously, not literally but since 9/11 everyone has to be cautious about what is said. Even when it's third grade boys, which I understand. They were spoken to about the seriousness of it. The point was made too that the principal did understand that they were playing. I find it said that kids can't even play "normally" like we use to for fear of it being taken the wrong way. I miss innocence.
The finger gesture issue happened on the field trip last Thursday, right before break (the kids had off Friday through Monday). A chaperon saw my son repeatedly pointing his middle finger up and gesturing with it. Definitely not right for him to do. I have a few problems however with how the chaperon handled it, even though I know they're not a school employee. First, address it as soon as you see it and tell him to stop. Second, I know this parent. Granted, not well but we've met up with friends several times. I talk to his wife. She has my number. Why get the school involved? Yes, I understand it was during school time but it wasn't like he was bullying another kid. Also, if it had been addressed immediately, I know it wouldn't have happened again. My son never said a word to me about it and I'm disappointed in him. I do know that the parent did at switch seats and sit next to him but I guess that was after the fact. Maybe it's because this parent is also a Middle School teacher. I don't know. The conversation with the assistant principal went well. It contained words like boys will be boys and such. I guess the biggest issue was the repeated use of it. My husband and I don't flip the bird. However, my father does when he's in the car and gets angry at another driver. A conversation is coming his way soon. I also discussed with him the fact that sometimes my son does use the middle finger to point. It was something that he did consistently up until last year. However, we have spoken to him about the fact that it's inappropriate and rude. His punishment was to write a note to the chaperon and the teachers on the bus apologizing for his actions. I thought that was fair and appropriate.
Yesterday's phone call came from the gym teacher. I'm grateful she called and handled it rather than passing it upwards. It's my understanding that she had to address the class twice about sportsmanship. I guess the winners (kickball) were bragging that they beat the losing team and the losing team was disagreeing because they only played half a game. The battle raged on as only 8 and 9 year old can make it. Goalie Boy brought it up again how they didn't lose because it wasn't a full game. It's the old three strikes you're out routine. She pulled him aside and spoke with him about it. Then she told him his punishment was that he was not allowed to play kickball at recess. He could play anything else except that. More than fair I think. However, when recess came he tried to play. He insisted to his para he could play because the gym teacher wasn't there (she sometimes has recess duty with them) and it was only when she was there. He badgered the poor woman with his insistence until another para became involved and told him to stop. It was brought to the gym teacher's attention. So, his revised punishment was a call home to mom and no kickball the next day (today) during recess. Again, more than fair. I spoke with him about it and supported the teacher. He insists he didn't hear her tell them to stop the first two times because he was out of hearing range. He doesn't wear his aid for gym or recess. I told him it still wasn't acceptable for two reasons. First, he knows the rules of sportsmanship since he plays hockey. We've talked about being a humble winner and a gracious loser. He knows better. We had the talk in detail. Secondly, we've taught him that he needs to be able to speak up and advocate for himself. If something is being said and he can't hear it then he needs to let it be known. I'm sure it was obvious that she was saying something important when all the kids around him became quiet. It was his job to raise his hand and let her know he hadn't heard what she said. Our biggest fear is him using his hearing impairment for a crutch. My punishment was for him to write the para a note apologizing for being so insistent and not respecting her.
Do your children get calls or notes sent home from school? Have you ever gotten more than one in a week? Please share your struggles and let me know I'm not alone in this. It can be frustrating. I know he's a well meaning kid but his stubbornness and persistence get him into trouble. Also, there are many times he doesn't think before he speaks or acts. If he would just take a moment so many things could be avoided. I know these weaknesses now can be major strengths in his future. Hmmmm....maybe he'll become a lawyer. Too bad he doesn't like school!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
My son's Journey as a Hearing Impaired Child
My son (AKA Goalie Boy) is 8 years old...9 at the end of July. He has gone through a lot in his few short years. Nothing overly traumatic mentally, emotionally or physically but enough. Much of what he deals with on a daily basis is invisible to the naked eye. Because of this he falls through the educational cracks. Learning does not come easy for him yet it is not impossible. He is on grade level or just below so he just gets shuffled through. I'm thankful his issues are not major and I know how hard it is for children and their parents that do struggle with that. It does break my heart though that he is passed over because he is not a "worse" case. It's like they are herding him along and it's not their fault if he struggles.
See, Goalie Boy is hearing impaired. He also has tinnitus in both ears. His audiologist believes he has Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) but it can not be proven because of his hearing impairment. He also has focusing and anxiety issues. He has had 3 ear tube surgeries (2 to put tubes in, 1 to remove them). He currently has a loaner hearing aid and we are getting 2 new ones in the next few weeks (can't wait to post more on that later!). Without more "labels" and testing the school will only help him so much. It's a shame. On his IEP it is noted that he is a distraction to himself and others. It states that he has trouble focusing. It says that he is a sweet boy and wants to learn. HELLO....it's all in black and white but they won't provide him with counseling or a 2 on 1 para to keep him on track. They even state...he's eager to please and wants to learn. So help him!!! He internalizes many of his feelings and his frustrations don't come out until he's at home. He's either temperamental or argumentative or he'll have nightmares/night terrors. I guess if he had his emotional outbursts/breakdowns at school they would help him. I agree, he's not bad. He's getting by. However, with the right support and guidance he wouldn't just be "getting by". He would be shining to his potential and soaring with confidence. Don't we want that for all children?! Shouldn't they all be given the tools they need to help them achieve just that? It's so sad.
I am creating this blog to track his journey. I want to share his struggles and his triumphs. I will post about the background on his story. You will learn about his past, present and our hopes for the future. I hope you'll come along with me for the ride. I hope this will reach others who are struggling to learn what works and doesn't work for their child. I have learned a lot about the twisting, winding road of the educational system and am still learning. I will share my knowledge, my frustrations and triumphs.
Please share with me any advice, insight, support or questions you may have. As parents, siblings, friends and other family members...we're all in this together.
See, Goalie Boy is hearing impaired. He also has tinnitus in both ears. His audiologist believes he has Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) but it can not be proven because of his hearing impairment. He also has focusing and anxiety issues. He has had 3 ear tube surgeries (2 to put tubes in, 1 to remove them). He currently has a loaner hearing aid and we are getting 2 new ones in the next few weeks (can't wait to post more on that later!). Without more "labels" and testing the school will only help him so much. It's a shame. On his IEP it is noted that he is a distraction to himself and others. It states that he has trouble focusing. It says that he is a sweet boy and wants to learn. HELLO....it's all in black and white but they won't provide him with counseling or a 2 on 1 para to keep him on track. They even state...he's eager to please and wants to learn. So help him!!! He internalizes many of his feelings and his frustrations don't come out until he's at home. He's either temperamental or argumentative or he'll have nightmares/night terrors. I guess if he had his emotional outbursts/breakdowns at school they would help him. I agree, he's not bad. He's getting by. However, with the right support and guidance he wouldn't just be "getting by". He would be shining to his potential and soaring with confidence. Don't we want that for all children?! Shouldn't they all be given the tools they need to help them achieve just that? It's so sad.
I am creating this blog to track his journey. I want to share his struggles and his triumphs. I will post about the background on his story. You will learn about his past, present and our hopes for the future. I hope you'll come along with me for the ride. I hope this will reach others who are struggling to learn what works and doesn't work for their child. I have learned a lot about the twisting, winding road of the educational system and am still learning. I will share my knowledge, my frustrations and triumphs.
Please share with me any advice, insight, support or questions you may have. As parents, siblings, friends and other family members...we're all in this together.
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